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Am i disgusting?Hearing her say i love you to me everytime i see her
Am i being silly?
Wanting her lips to capture the air that passes thru mine
Am i just going through a phase?
Feeling the body god has painted for me to love
Am i confused?
Swaying around her hands as they dance upon my body
Am i corrupted?
Wanting this little amount of romance to happen?
Am i selfish?
Wanting all this...
... am i silly, confused, corrupted, selfish?
Am i disgusting to want to love another woman?
Wont forget the night i told..Dont worry love i wont forget you
I cant forget you
I cant forget the long nights of talking
The way i thought you smiled at me
The way when ever you smiled or spoke my nerves would jump
I cant forget the amazement i had everyday that you liked me
Cant forget the things you told me that i did that showed how comfortable i was
No i cant forget the way that when you kissed me for a sec my knees would go weak
The way you wrapped your arms around my waist when you said "mine" or just wanted to feel me
The way no matter how sad i was with anyone or even you, you were the one i would go to
The way you would whisper you love me and cuddle me in your sleep
The way you said that you would marry me and missed me everyday even tho we talked
There are so many things i can forget but you arnt one
Just cant forget the way you looked so beautiful to me
The way i looked at someone else and thought of you when they were talking
When i was in school i kept feeling adrenaline when you sent me a text
Inwardly SpokenSwaying in the wind
Leaves dancing in a invoking manner
Complete silence is taken to a stand
Relationships are inwardly spoken
She says...She says i torture her oh so much
I run my nails down her spine
She says i make her ache from my touch
I kiss her down from her lips to her sides
She says all these things to me
Its like a musical, a wonderful beat
She says this is all she ever wanted it to be
I kiss her as my lips show me being happy
She says i love you to me
I kiss the lips of my new girlfriend
She says all these things to me
Its a musical, a wonderful beat
I dont know what to doI feel at ease thinking your just a huge tease
You said "I dream and think of you everyday"
I start going nuts over you
You said "I like you too"
Im shocked and cant breath
You said "im yours if you want me"
My hearts beating fast
You said "I feel like im falling hard"
My chest is getting tighter and im getting anxious
You said "I dont think you feel the way i do"
I dont know what to do because i've fallen for you
And its scaring me so much to
You the queen, me the jesterI was waiting for so long to capture those eyes
To be seen
I was waiting for so long for you to just notice me
I was waiting for so long for you to like me
Want to hold
Want to kiss
For so long i sat and waited
Goofing the best i could untill you finally understood
They way i felt
But that feeling will never flourish now
Sitting i think in pain
Ima just hurt you
I still think so kindly of you
In my little room far from you
I cry alone
Still re-falling in love with you
Walking around like nothings wrong
I sing my little sad love song
You are like the beauty queen and me the jester
I goof just to not be tossed away
And in the end im just running away
To the edge, Let me flyYou drive me to the edge of happiness
So when i fall ima hold on to you no matter what
. . .
So let me jump and fall
Let my heart soar and fly
This everlasting love i share
It will help me hold you tight
Your not in my arms
Your in my heart
Deep down in the core
Quickening its pace
You kiss me and stroke my cheek
You hold me tight with that look in your eyes
Its love in its ultimate form
Love in the best manner
Dont hide iteasily broken...
so fragile that it feels unbelievable
will you break
will you cry
My Homophobia experiencesHomophobia
Ever wonder what is on the other side of Homophobia?
Try to imagine
You are in the second grade,
And tell a girl she is pretty and you "like like" her.
She looks at you funny, says, "My mommy says people like you go to hell."
You cant comprehend,
Isnt this normal?
Sure the other girls have boys they like. But you...You dont understand.
Time passes. You're in the fifth grade. The dance is coming up. You want to ask this really cute girl.
But now you understand...
You are as weird as they say. So, You ask a boy. He takes you, and you're miserable...watching the girl you like being held by a boy.
You dance, when someone whispers in you partner's ear. He pushes you off and yells, "Dyke!" His crew laughs and the girls throw things, punch you, bruise your arms to teach you the sins.
You go to the car...your mom asks what happened, she knows it was probably your step-father again
ReasonI feel lucky. So, so lucky.
Have I ever told you that I love you, that I think about you all the time?
What about how I could almost call you a miracle? A gift from above?
You have to be the singularly best thing to ever happen to me.
There's been good things to happen to me, but none that have changed everything - and for the better. In a life with no major hardships, no great boons...
Knowing you, loving you, being gifted with your love...
You give me strength. Courage. Hope.
You give me a reason to roll out of bed on cold winter mornings, you give me something to look forward to, you give me a reason to live and not just exist.
You, my love, my soul, my heart...
I love you.
I love you.
I. Love. You.
I can't waitSometimes I wonder
if you find yourself thinking of me when you're trying to work.
Maybe when you're listening to your music?
Or even when you're trying to sleep?
Maybe you don't, but I know I do.
You keep me working on schoolwork for hours on end.
You get me writing lyrics that remind me of you.
And you keep me up at night, thinking of the day,
that I will get to wake up, and see you right there next to me.
And I just can't wait for that day to come.
I love you.
This Could Be EverythingIf I were honest,
I'd tell you that I would never take
More than you were willing to give. Even though every
Part of me craved what you weren't willing to offer.
I'd tell you that sometimes,
I get this overwhelming urge to bite down on your lips
Hard enough to draw blood so I can show you
What heartache feels like at three o'clock in the morning.
I'd tell you how jealous I am
That you can count on both hands the number of people
That love you, while I'm still trying to learn
How to love myself.
I'd tell you that most days
I can't handle waking up in pieces
When it seems you've got yourself so together.
I'd tell you that I love the way
You never seem to know what to say because I always
Ask the right questions and you make the cutest face
When you're caught off guard.
I'd tell you how much I really need you
Every. Fucking. Day.
But that would be admitting to myself,
I couldn't live without you
And I know that one of these days,
I'm going to have to breathe on my own
Her. Or She.Sometimes,
I close my eyes
And imagine standing on a grassy hill
A city of mountains
Frosted with snow;
Their peaks illuminated
By the bright blue sky
As birds soar.
The feeling of freedom is overwhelming.
I walk through town
And visit the places where we once were.
I pretend that she's with me
And wish for endless tomorrows
That I could spend
I look out my window
And see the sunset.
A stunning eruption of
I feel infinite.
When I think of these things
I remember her.
I see her.
I hear her.
I feel her.
I taste her.
No amount of freedom or feeling of
Can measure up to
How she makes me feel.
Endless tomorrows will never be enough.
A letter from a gay son.Dear Dad,
There are some thing that must be said between me and you. Some points that must be covered. For a long time now, I have hated you. For many different reasons. Let me explain.
For the first 14 years of my life, I did not know you as a sober man. Alcohol had consumed you life as fast as you consumed it. You were a raving, raging drunk whenever you were awake, or a passed out, smelly pile of rags when you weren't. It was pathetic to watch.
I have no doubt that the hardest choice you made during those years was weather to come home and pass out, beat up me, or beat up mom. How you could have ever called this a life is beyond me. You were killing yourself, driving your family away, and destroying what life you had left.
You even got fired from your job. Me and Maddison had to go around town doing odd jobs like leaf raking or lawn mowing just to help mom pay the bills. All of us hated you, and it was clear that if it wasn't for the fact that she didn't have the money,
The Day I DieYou tell me not to worry
You say you wont leave
But I know one day,
my luck will run out
You will be gone
I will be forgotten
And I will still love you,
until the day I die
Perhaps that day
will come sooner than I thought
Even knowing this may happen,
I still have hope
To be yours forever
And never be without you
Because the day I lose you
is the day I stop living
The day I lose you
is the Day I Die
There were momentsThere were moments when I wanted to just hold you in my arms and I did
But what did you think when I held you?
Probably something like "She's really warm and gentle"
Or "Yeah, we're only friends"
Truth is, I held you in my arms because it's the only way I can wrap my arms around you
I want to be able to kiss you, but I know I can't
This is as far
As I can go with our friendship
Friendship... one step below affection
It's not at all the same
You may think we're friends
But I'd love to say for once
"I love you..."
And mean it
You are the person
Whom I love the most
...and you still are...
My precious, gentle flower
BelongingI sigh as you pull me close, closing my eyes as I feel my stress wash away in your presence. I feel your own form relax as our bodies fit together, at long last.
I kiss your cheek softly, whispering "I've missed you..."
I feel the answering smile as you kiss along my shoulder and neck, murmuring "Me too, Princess..." I bite my lip and fight back a grin.
This, is where we belong.
Right here in the others loving embrace.
The secret truth is...I want to be the one to hold you close
I want to be the one you never wanna let go
i want to be the one to claim you as mine
I want to be the one to call you baby, hunny, an mine
I want to be the one to create that smile that passes your lips
I want to be the one who kisses those lips
I want to be the one to trail your body with my fingertips
I want to be the one who you create a family with
I want to be the one you have trust in
I want to be the one you tell stuff to
I want to be the one you come to
I want to be the one to spoil you
I want to be the one you get married to
I want to be the one you sleep next to
I want to be the one that truly knows you
I want to be the one that outta this world cares for you
I want to be the one who lives with you
I want to be the one you finally say "I love you" to
All i keep saying is i want to be the one...
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More